Morals by experience.

      ' Experience is the best teacher ' was my favorite tutors way of initiating us into a world where Nothing is as it should be.  It was her way of saying indirectly(what She didn't dare say directly) there is ' what should be' and ' what is '. As a student of the academy of experience, I cannot begin to tell you the numerous jaw dropping topics I've had to put up with, but I shall share with you my favourite lesson; morals. Focussing on the three I learnt best- Honesty, humility and chastity.
        As humans we are born honest. You are expected to tell the truth, always. Any less qualifies as a lie. Simple. That was before the  experienced class revealed an alternative called being ' straight forward '. When we want to divert funds, When you tell your boyfriend you shall be travelling with ' uncle '(to whom you are not at all related) as you pack your bag for the weekend.  It is not dishonesty, you are not a liar, You are simply not being straight forward. We understand that to be dishonest is to lie, but you see, to not be straight forward is to lie 'sometimes'. It is when you tell people what they want to hear, as often as necessary. Dressing up a lie to look as close to the truth as possible. When the wind of truth blows by, You can carefully point out that you are not a liar 'you were only not being straight forward' .
      Humility though is a little tricky to understand. It is dependent on variables such as, position and statements of account.  The rule is simple. Be humble to those above you and let those below be humble to you.  We are modest for where circumstance has placed us ' that Same old condition that unjustly bent the crayfish '. As we rise higher, we are not expected to be humble but to humble. A powerful man knows no humility'. He was humble once ,that is enough. When he looses power, he shall be humble again. Till then, he shall oppress as many as he can with his starched 'agbada' ,beer belly and convoys. The smart ones would stand in line to ' kiss ass' for favours. Statements like ' I used to be humble ' are allowed . After all, Humility is a moral for the ones who intend to be powerful and the ones who have accepted they may never be.
         ' I'm sexy and I know it ' I believe there was a period When that kind of confidence could get one mercilessly stoned to death. I cannot place where exactly in the time line everything got So sexed up. Expecting morality is like waiting for rain in the desert. You may find it sometime, but almost never. sex sells everything, from music to mouth wash. But there's a twist. Everything has to look moral. If it's happening behind closed doors and in locker rooms, it's not So bad. ' not So bad ' we forget is still not good. Chastity is also gender sensitive. It is to women what white is to rice, as a man it's all right to be loose and immoral. The man must err but the woman shouldn't dare.
       Obviously, what is good for the gander is not always great for the goose and our morals, sadly, hang on the peril of circumstance and conditions. The times have changed and our sense of right and wrong changed with it . Like everything else in life, we made them more comfortable. That in the end is ' what is '.

Nigerian political walk of fame.

   I shall be your humble tour guide on this walk through the corridors of present day 'Aso Villa'. To make this excursion memorable, all conclusions are to be made by you.
     we begin at the office of ' the boy without shoes ' Where it all began. A stroke of goodluck and a breath of fresh air, transformed a boy with nothing to a man with everything. Goodluck gave this man a taste from the fountain of power and now he is asking to drink for another four years.  That is what patience does, turns our boy with no shoes to ' Oliver twist '.  Nollywood big brother ' uncle zeb ' considers him the best thing to happen to our nation' amidst  all the chaos and strikes. Let me point out the fact that Nollywood has been known to be the fishing pond for aides, advisers and even ambassadors for various politicians. It is a very short road to mouth watering public offices . Uncle Zeb is only promoting his hustle. Right now, I am like many Nigerians gnashing my teeth, I should have known better ' the one who had no shoes will want all our shoes When he gets the chance '.
            Next we have the #255 million princess. Yes, we have one of those. I have always known princesses like beautiful things. We can ask Kate Middleton. Diamonds, tiaras and designer dresses. Our princess though likes the best protection. Two hundred and fifty five million Naira BMW's . Before you begin to raise your judgemental eyebrows, I state clearly, this two cars are bullet proofed. We can't risk having the one who keeps our airways safe being shot by deranged relatives of plane crash victims. Plus, God needed to use someone to bless COSCHARIS for his hard work.
           I introduce you with pride, to our new addition:The diplomatic minister. When you are newly appointed, you cannot be too careful. He gave us a glimpse of his talent When he stated clearly ' the four month old strike will be over in a few months '. I was greatly reassured. So if you, as a student are still home in April of 2014 , remember, our dear minister said ' it will take a few more months '. A year is made up of a few months, Just stating the obvious.
         The English representative. It will be an insult to walk the hall of fame of political offices and not mention our ' vocabulary honourable '. His arsenal of 'vocabs' (as we like to call it) would send Webster running for cover. He was known to say a lot and I honestly did my best to listen, I never heard anything. Good thing he is now in Edo state. He shall continue to bless them with his intimidating knowledge. 
           Finally, I bring you to our last stop ' the warring governors ' And some non-constitutional body known as ' NGF'. It was a sixteen to nineteen case. I am told by a very reliable source that the nineteen refused to accept sixteen and well it turned our ' breath of fresh air ' into a whirlwind of oppression, even patience was lost, and some Nobel laureate was equally insulted. That is the power of power . It can make patient domestic appendages revolt.
          In the end, how well do you know your politicians ? If you got all right, you have paid as much attention as I have to the state of our nation. If you got all wrong, don't feel bad - you have obviously not been in Nigeria.
Please note: this is all a work of the writers overactive observation. If you put name ' na you sabi ' .

The black man's price.

    You cannot speak of Africa and ignore the ' transatlantic slave trade '. Often, it is where the story begins. White people, who explored their way into our land and bound away our people to their sugarcane plantations. That is the stereotype tale. We conveniently ignore that Africans sold Africans for a few rusty muskets and mirrors. We focus on the white man's cruelty but we ignore our greed. A people, who had diamonds, gold and oil but were willing to sell their brothers for next to nothing , for the appeal of the unfamiliar.
         We conquered the slave trade, but we did not conquer slavery. We are now slaves in our own nation. Slaves to bad leadership and corrupt practices. We are free from the white man's whip but we remain under the heel of oppression, Why?  Because someone somewhere is still selling us out.
         When, you stand for something you don't believe in because of all you intend to gain.
            When you sell your voice, your vote. When you are an instrument of political distraction. From as minor as stuffing ballot boxes to as major as eliminating the opposition.
           When you gloss up the story. When one hundred and fifty die and you make it ten. When you tell a story that is true but incomplete.
          When as a student representative, all you do is dine with politicians in a bid to further your ambitions. At the expense of the people you represent. So When Hades boils over, your hands are tied in loyalty to your ambition. You cannot bite the fingers that fed you. You ignore your people.
          'It is a little thing' . Same thing, they might have thought at the time they gave  off their people to a faith unknown. Same thing we think now . ' you are not directly hurting anybody ' I agree but ' you are indirectly hurting everybody '. You are selling us at the slave market for ' the black man's price.
         

The great divide.

     Any Abuja resident would agree with me that we have ' yahooza ' and we have chicken suya . Same as residents of Jos in plateau state will agree that we have ' netcafe ' and we have icecream. That little difference proves my favorite point ' it is not so much what you do but how you do it '. That's what creates ' the great divide'.
         In my last post ,I stated clearly that we have a Money problem. We all want to be rich and we all can be rich. We simply must realize that the paths to the stream of wealth are many. We need not crowd one way. To find your way, you must explore. Exploring is trying to find what you love  and not doing things for how much you can earn. It is finding your Midas touch.
     Dishonesty, immorality. Easy Money fast. I have heard stories of people who have earned this way and I am certain, I have never heard one that ended Well. There is a lot more to worth than Money. As much as we want a good net worth, we should have greater self worth. You cannot cheat divinity and expect it to bless you.
       We are told in life change is the only certainty, the times change but the basic principles of survival and divinity do not. As much as anyone can do anything, not everyone can do anything exceptionally. Be the exception, dare to stand out .

The Money way

   Money, that's the key. It has been known to open all doors. It can give you from as little as a college degree to as much as your own island, power, respect,everything. When there is Money everything is a commodity. little wonder why we want it.
         When my neighbor tells stories of how she struck gold making beads, I become a bead maker too. I have never thought of making beads but now it's all I can think of. When your friend tells you how she smiles to the bank after every session of make up service she delivers, you enroll in one of the many make up schools springing up everywhere. When the student is ready, the teacher no matter how unqualified must appear. If neither of this provide what they promise, we drop it and wait inline for the next big thing. we are hustlers'One day, pepper must rest'
           You want a Porsche and all the glamour and fame. The boys must know ' you have arrived ' in that case music is the way. Keep going to the studio, all you need is one big hit. Forget lyrics, just find a good beat, one new slang and two sentences that do not have to make sense. Chant repeatedly like a voodoo priest. Viola - you are there. Tease the brain with marijuana (weed) for inspiration and while you are hallucinating, dream up a dance step. We all love to dance and music is all about the beat. The God that did it for terry-g and whizkid must do it for you.
           If neither of the above seem to be working, remember buying and selling. Everything sells. From gossip to sex. Open up a blog and fill it with stories of our famous fellow citizens, from how they brush their teeth to how they choose to propose. Your information does not have to be credible, just give us gist.
          If you are a descent girl, then you are wasting your 'Money making machine'. Big married men with pot bellies are known to be very generous. They are known to offer from cars to mansions. Do not take to mind those tales you hear of missing girls and rituals ' na them no sabi waka? ' . After-all you are not stealing, it's a tough life and we need to survive. Even God will understand '.
        Dignity, hard work, passion, creativity. These have worked for many but you don't have the patience. We want a lot of Money and we want it quick. Where Money is, there we go.
         So why ask why ,Our leadership is a mess, we have few musicians and numerous entertainers, our girls have forgotten virtue, our boys have abandoned creativity?  The writing is on the wall, we don't give value ' all we want is Money ' 

In the defense of Osu Beverly.

        Controversy is the fuel of fame. I will begin by stating clearly that,  I do not know the afore mentioned. I merely speak as a voice of reason :
          let us begin with the point of ' modesty and decency '. Bigbrother Africa as a show encourages neither. So when we send in representatives, we need to quit eating their heads off for doing exactly What they are there for - entertaining. This are not unicef ambassadors, we have been known to criticize descent housemates, referring to them as ' boring ' or ' unrefined ' It is the hair raising events that make for good television. Are we suggesting it is Alright to see some big brother action, So long as the actors are not Nigerians?
             Moreover, I am weary with talk about How her actions are ' against our tradition ' Well if I must state the obvious - the show is not in anyway traditional, and is certainly not very African either. I haven't still figured out What exactly the moral of the show is, But I shall let you know when it is found.
             I agree with the concerned ones who say ' she is not a good role model for our daughters ' But , if you are a great parent your daughter should not know who Beverly osu is, and if she's old enough to, then she is equally old enough to know better.
             nevertheless, let us gather and call her a prostitute or what else we dim fit.  Afterwards you can arrange a treat of nkwobi and red wine with your mistress or better still go shopping with your maga , Exchange nude pictures on twitter and twit about your sexual escapades. Those are very moral and Nigerian.
              In the end ,we all seem to have a clear idea how other people should lead their lives but none about our own. We are right ,she was wrong but we can live and let live.I rest my case.

Steve jobs - 6 great facts .

   when we think ' Steve jobs ' we see ' apple ' and believe ' class ' Well, here are facts about the man who changed the face of the computer age:
    First, Steve jobs was adopted. His birth parents were Joanne schibble and Abdulfattah Jandali. Meaning by birth jobs was actually Syrian.
       Steve jobs also dropped out of college at the age of 17, But was allowed to drop into classes he liked. Calligraphy was one of them, and that led to the development of fonts and awesome typography in modern day devices. All thanks to jobs.
          Ever heard of lsd ? Well, Steve partook in this recreational drug when he was younger and considers it ' one of the three most important things' he ever did.
          When next you think ' jobs ' think ' pixar ' and ' next computers ' as Well. When Steve was fired from apple he managed pixar and they created the first ever animated feature film - toy story. And next computers a company he created , was bought by apple and formed the base of their new operating system.
          This genius also lived life at two extremes, things were either ' fantastic ' or ' a piece of shit ' and people were either ' heroes ' or ' bozzos ' . He was also an extreme organic vegetarian and it was during one of this diets (one of apples ) that apple got It's name, they couldn't think of nothing better at the time.
            Steve jobs never wrote a line of programming code either. He was simply the genius with the ideas who pushed people who could to create the impossible. In my opinion ' the ultimate entrepreneur' remains his best description '
     Undeniably Steve jobs was a great man, and also falls in line with the Einstein's,  Leonardo da vinci's and Micheal Angelo's. But is he a great role model?  That's for you to decide.
      All facts were gathered from the ' autobiography of Steve jobs ' by Isaac Walterson . If you want to know more about ' the Apple man ' I suggest you read the book that I personally like to call ' the Apple bible '.
           

Nigerian parenting for the Nigerian child.

    To begin, I must state clearly that as  Nigerians we do not believe in youthful exuberance. If a child does not conform to societal values, or tradition as we casually put it, it is as a result of slack parenting. ' mamma Ngozi did not do a good job that is why Ngozi has run amok' nevertheless you are blessed to be a Nigerian child and this is what you should expect:
     First when you are born, do not be surprised when you are weighed with titles such as Dr,Prof, pastor and so on. Nigerian parents like to make the path clear from the start never mind your purpose.
      Then do not attempt to explore. That is a leisure we cannot afford. Music and dancing are irresponsible, theatre is for the loose girls and boys, sports is for children with no ambition and speak nothing of art.  Go to school, study hard and become a lawyer or a doctor. That is the only way.
        You should never have an opinion, it is a sure sign of disrespect and do not expect politeness, you are to do as you are ordered. Also, after a job well done do not expect a thank you - you only did what was expected.
         You will constantly hear of things that are against our tradition. You do not need to bother what the tradition is just  remember the things that are against it , it is nothing of consequence to tradition that you do not know your village. That is only a place where people use ' juju ' (voodoo) to destroy each other.
         The Nigerian parenting method has been tested and trusted, passed down from one generation to the next. We are products, the ones that fell along the way were not victims of bad choice, no ,It had to be slack parenting. So you shall learn to be a Nigerian child as someday you too must  be ' a Nigerian parent '.
          

Agagu - The moral in the drama.

   In birth as in death, we are all born equal. It is in living that there is a difference. I did not know the late Dr. Olusegun Kokumo Agagu but it would be unrealistic as a Nigerian to claim not to have heard of his death. In between the curiosities and absurdities surrounding the situation do not get so caught up that you miss the moral.
            The chase, what is it worth? Expensive cars, Italian shoes, youth? They all fade. There is nothing we have that we cannot loose. Where we are someone was and when we leave another will be. In the end it is not so much a matter of what we had but what difference our earthly voyage made. You are blessed to be a blessing. 
 Life is a mirage. Hold it loosely and live it wisely. 

FG VS ASUU - The Students perspective.

    Come gather round people wherever you roam,
      and admit that the waters around you have grown,
      come writers come critics who prophesy with your pen,
      and keeps your eyes wide open this time won't come again .
      For the times they are a-changing.
                                     Bob Dylan.
      we are weary with thought and weighed down with loss. we have travelled a circles full course back to where we began.
     It is no matter of who is right or wrong but whom the battle affects. You cannot claim to fight justly when you know you loose nothing. As victims of circumstance we give the only thing we can, our thought; 
       We cannot continue to do the same things and wonder why we get the same results, you cannot continue to treat the symptoms and wonder why you remain with the disease. A ' no ' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a ' yes ' merely to please. Sweeping the dirt under the bed may give the impression of a clean room but we all know the truth. The federal government cannot continue to give  students a false sense of security. If time is the stuff life is made of we beg you,do not continue to squander ours.
      desist from setting up committees that do not any difference make. They have only served to lengthen the road to solution.
      we understand that ASUU means well and our education sector is deplorable but let us demand with consideration and if we do not get what we desire we should hold what we get. It is not the same thing to ' compromise ' as it is to ' give in ' .It is a good leader who knows when to count his losses in the interest of his people. To compromise is not to stop fighting but it is to find a different method to do so that would favour the common and pressure the opposition.
          We sit in silence, we pray not to sit for longer more for what is sport to you is death to us.
         

Weep not child - a message from a nation to her people.

       I am not a messenger but nevertheless I bear a message, from a  desperate mother to her hurting child.
       I am 53 today, I celebrate myself as you celebrate me amidst your disappointments. I weep that I hurt you so, thus ,I have chosen to open your eyes and move you from a point of passive absorption to active awareness;
        For everyone of you I chose you. You did not come to me by chance, from creation I knew you were mine and I proudly call you my own. You are embarrassed to call me your mother and I understand,my image in the eyes of many is far from impressive but my child, I did not bring this upon myself - you did.
          You traded tradition for civilization. You mastered greed and discontent. In the bountiful that once was enough you let your greed overcome your sense of brotherhood. You store up for an uncertain future, for children yet unborn but you forget we live in the now and leave the ones I have put amongst you to starve. Hunger becomes their drive and desperation their fuel, they resort to dishonesty and a life of crime.
       All that you need I freely give,it is all for the taking if you will but look keenly. You neglect the treasures in your home but admire those of your neighbour. I can only be as rich as my people. My child, laziness travels so slowly that soon poverty overtakes it. You may not have diamonds but you do have what they are worth,all you need to do is look. use your gifts more and waste less, do your best and cast your care.
        You are religious and it pleases me so, why then do I hear the blood of your brothers cry up to me from the earth. Why is there strive in the wind and tears in my waters. You fill the worship places but what good is a lesson taught that does not see action.
            I see that I am flawed but what nation isn't? the grass on the other side is not greener it is only better groomed.
            I have said all that I can and for now it is all that you may need. My time is short but my message is clear ' I have failed you as a nation but you fail me daily as a people '. 
             All is not lost when there is hope and the best of your today's shall be the worst of your tomorrow.