When we say i do.

 "Many call me a feminist because I speak the truth. Most say I preach equality in all I say and do. But I only beg a woman be enough in herself, and not let a ring be the only trophy on her shelf. I ask that marriage be a plus and not all you own. Simply said, be enough  married or alone"

 Marriage is beautiful. You cannot overestimate it's importance in our society. It is what financial contentment is for men to women, A sign that we have arrived.
    We have all seen marriage change people. Some for better, others for worse. We get married and like the
suffix to our name everything else changes. From our friends to our attitude.
     For the bride, being married suddenly confers on her a relationship counselor status because all her friends want to know what she did right, and what they must be doing wrong. She offers advice (with or without ) being asked about how to do what in your relationship, often even daring to play oracle, predicting what will be if you don't do as she says. A relationship that you may have had longer than her courtship and marriage put together. You are miss and she is Mrs, thus you must listen.
    The men have it more put together than the women in this context. They neither change their friends nor pressure them. Women turn a commitment into a competition. A race for an imaginary estrogen finish line. We get married and act like we were never single. 
    Not surprisingly, marriages are failing. It is now a drive through affair. In and out. It is no longer a union but a statement. No longer an institution but an accessory. Our intentions have changed. We want to get married because our friends are married, because we are expected to be married, for financial security and other cynical reasons.
    In my opinion ,it isn't exactly rocket science. If you want to be a wife act like one, If you want a descent husband dress and act with decency, If you want a God fearing man then fear God (do not mistake church attending for God fearing). Don't be a good woman because you want to get married, be a good woman because as a lady you shouldn't be anything less. Any  woman can be married, but sadly not every woman can make a wife.
    For the unmarried, being single doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. For the married, being married doesn't mean you did everything right.