When we say i do.

 "Many call me a feminist because I speak the truth. Most say I preach equality in all I say and do. But I only beg a woman be enough in herself, and not let a ring be the only trophy on her shelf. I ask that marriage be a plus and not all you own. Simply said, be enough  married or alone"

 Marriage is beautiful. You cannot overestimate it's importance in our society. It is what financial contentment is for men to women, A sign that we have arrived.
    We have all seen marriage change people. Some for better, others for worse. We get married and like the
suffix to our name everything else changes. From our friends to our attitude.
     For the bride, being married suddenly confers on her a relationship counselor status because all her friends want to know what she did right, and what they must be doing wrong. She offers advice (with or without ) being asked about how to do what in your relationship, often even daring to play oracle, predicting what will be if you don't do as she says. A relationship that you may have had longer than her courtship and marriage put together. You are miss and she is Mrs, thus you must listen.
    The men have it more put together than the women in this context. They neither change their friends nor pressure them. Women turn a commitment into a competition. A race for an imaginary estrogen finish line. We get married and act like we were never single. 
    Not surprisingly, marriages are failing. It is now a drive through affair. In and out. It is no longer a union but a statement. No longer an institution but an accessory. Our intentions have changed. We want to get married because our friends are married, because we are expected to be married, for financial security and other cynical reasons.
    In my opinion ,it isn't exactly rocket science. If you want to be a wife act like one, If you want a descent husband dress and act with decency, If you want a God fearing man then fear God (do not mistake church attending for God fearing). Don't be a good woman because you want to get married, be a good woman because as a lady you shouldn't be anything less. Any  woman can be married, but sadly not every woman can make a wife.
    For the unmarried, being single doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. For the married, being married doesn't mean you did everything right. 

                            

Just a little sin

  His eyes swept the rodent infested room that stank of poverty. 'Soon all this will be a distant memory' he thought. Picking up the small leather box, he began the journey that would soon send him wealth like the rain in September.
      The bus conductor was suspicious of the shabbily dressed man who wouldn't let anyone touch his luggage. 'This is how they carry bombs ' he whispers to the driver.
         'Ten more minutes' he would deliver what was demanded and he will receive what was promised. He was shaken out of his day dream of all the beautiful things his newly found wealth would acquire
' oga wetin dey that your box wey you dey carry like egg?  '  it was the conductor ' open am make we see ' he froze, suddenly feeling like he was suffocating. The driver brought the vehicle to a halt by the roadside to allow the drama ensue with more convenience . ' I say open the box ' the conductor getting impatient was trying to pry it from his hands . He began to panic ' it's clothes ' he explained ' open make we see ' he thought of making a run for it, but he was locked between other commuters. He opened the box. The  bus was filled with screams of terror, as passengers close to the exit scrambled out ,and others shrieked backwards, trying to put as much distance between themselves and the bags sole content. A child no older than three, dressed up, folded and cold. Dead. His son.
       This story is as true as the Pope is Catholic. He was one of us, someone's husband, a woman's son, a child's role model, a neighbour, a friend. Poverty is not an excuse for inhumanity. How far is far enough when money is the end result? It was just a little sin or so he thought.

How to loose a million Naira.

   There are many(often very broke ) preachers of the how to become a millionaire Gospel, as intriguing as that topic sounds I have decided to spare myself( and everyone else) another hungry opinion on money getting.
       I am not a millionaire. I've never even seen a million Naira in reality, But who said you need to have a million to begin with. If you are as broke as I am, I believe loosing  that amount of money at once would be an experience equal to putting your head between a lion's jaw, a lethal joke. Like little bites of candy that will one day cause you to loose your teeth, loosing in sweet ,little, not so obvious bits, That's the way to go .
         Gamblers in my opinion should grab a seat at the back of the class, next to the junkies. I shamefully admit even I, once counted on fortuna and her blind promises. The rule was simple: endure loosing till you begin to win. In my defense it sounded more logical at the time. I had seen the stories too; How one Naira could grow into ten thousand and hundred into hundreds of thousands. Be lucky, That's what the manual recommended. long story short, I lost everything and went-a-borrowing. All interest in gaining gone, i began to strive to get back What i lost. The end is predictable, I was asked to come back the day after ' you may get lucky, you never know when your time go come ' I was better off not knowing. Many of us know this story, from pool tables to card games to internet betting. Difference is many of us believe the come back tomorrow line  and the lucky tomorrow continues to elude us.
          Also, there are many Intriguing investment pathways. Non patented companies in absurd locations with inviting offers. You can put in tens of thousands, get monthly dividends and earn back ten times your initial capital (this is not the stock market) How isn't that too good to be true? The more you put in the greater your chances. Good money quick. No risk. Till the day you go to this makeshift office and realize It's gone with the wind. All the young men in well ironed suits and smartly dressed women have all performed a disappearing act, only this time with a little something that may belong to you. You will stand outside and gnash your teeth as you remember this warning.
     Trust me, in quick money instances  statistics is not your friend. Those ' 100 people made millionaires testimony, I wouldn't dare suggest are false (till I can afford a lawyer ) but I am certain the numbers are misleading. They carefully omit the most important detail - How many participated. A thousand? A million?  In the name of all that it righteous,am I the only one being assaulted by the stench of deceit?
      wealth is a fickle mistress, there are as many ways to loose money as there are to make it. May you not go about making fast men rich by trying to get rich(or richer) quick.

Morals by experience.

      ' Experience is the best teacher ' was my favorite tutors way of initiating us into a world where Nothing is as it should be.  It was her way of saying indirectly(what She didn't dare say directly) there is ' what should be' and ' what is '. As a student of the academy of experience, I cannot begin to tell you the numerous jaw dropping topics I've had to put up with, but I shall share with you my favourite lesson; morals. Focussing on the three I learnt best- Honesty, humility and chastity.
        As humans we are born honest. You are expected to tell the truth, always. Any less qualifies as a lie. Simple. That was before the  experienced class revealed an alternative called being ' straight forward '. When we want to divert funds, When you tell your boyfriend you shall be travelling with ' uncle '(to whom you are not at all related) as you pack your bag for the weekend.  It is not dishonesty, you are not a liar, You are simply not being straight forward. We understand that to be dishonest is to lie, but you see, to not be straight forward is to lie 'sometimes'. It is when you tell people what they want to hear, as often as necessary. Dressing up a lie to look as close to the truth as possible. When the wind of truth blows by, You can carefully point out that you are not a liar 'you were only not being straight forward' .
      Humility though is a little tricky to understand. It is dependent on variables such as, position and statements of account.  The rule is simple. Be humble to those above you and let those below be humble to you.  We are modest for where circumstance has placed us ' that Same old condition that unjustly bent the crayfish '. As we rise higher, we are not expected to be humble but to humble. A powerful man knows no humility'. He was humble once ,that is enough. When he looses power, he shall be humble again. Till then, he shall oppress as many as he can with his starched 'agbada' ,beer belly and convoys. The smart ones would stand in line to ' kiss ass' for favours. Statements like ' I used to be humble ' are allowed . After all, Humility is a moral for the ones who intend to be powerful and the ones who have accepted they may never be.
         ' I'm sexy and I know it ' I believe there was a period When that kind of confidence could get one mercilessly stoned to death. I cannot place where exactly in the time line everything got So sexed up. Expecting morality is like waiting for rain in the desert. You may find it sometime, but almost never. sex sells everything, from music to mouth wash. But there's a twist. Everything has to look moral. If it's happening behind closed doors and in locker rooms, it's not So bad. ' not So bad ' we forget is still not good. Chastity is also gender sensitive. It is to women what white is to rice, as a man it's all right to be loose and immoral. The man must err but the woman shouldn't dare.
       Obviously, what is good for the gander is not always great for the goose and our morals, sadly, hang on the peril of circumstance and conditions. The times have changed and our sense of right and wrong changed with it . Like everything else in life, we made them more comfortable. That in the end is ' what is '.

Nigerian political walk of fame.

   I shall be your humble tour guide on this walk through the corridors of present day 'Aso Villa'. To make this excursion memorable, all conclusions are to be made by you.
     we begin at the office of ' the boy without shoes ' Where it all began. A stroke of goodluck and a breath of fresh air, transformed a boy with nothing to a man with everything. Goodluck gave this man a taste from the fountain of power and now he is asking to drink for another four years.  That is what patience does, turns our boy with no shoes to ' Oliver twist '.  Nollywood big brother ' uncle zeb ' considers him the best thing to happen to our nation' amidst  all the chaos and strikes. Let me point out the fact that Nollywood has been known to be the fishing pond for aides, advisers and even ambassadors for various politicians. It is a very short road to mouth watering public offices . Uncle Zeb is only promoting his hustle. Right now, I am like many Nigerians gnashing my teeth, I should have known better ' the one who had no shoes will want all our shoes When he gets the chance '.
            Next we have the #255 million princess. Yes, we have one of those. I have always known princesses like beautiful things. We can ask Kate Middleton. Diamonds, tiaras and designer dresses. Our princess though likes the best protection. Two hundred and fifty five million Naira BMW's . Before you begin to raise your judgemental eyebrows, I state clearly, this two cars are bullet proofed. We can't risk having the one who keeps our airways safe being shot by deranged relatives of plane crash victims. Plus, God needed to use someone to bless COSCHARIS for his hard work.
           I introduce you with pride, to our new addition:The diplomatic minister. When you are newly appointed, you cannot be too careful. He gave us a glimpse of his talent When he stated clearly ' the four month old strike will be over in a few months '. I was greatly reassured. So if you, as a student are still home in April of 2014 , remember, our dear minister said ' it will take a few more months '. A year is made up of a few months, Just stating the obvious.
         The English representative. It will be an insult to walk the hall of fame of political offices and not mention our ' vocabulary honourable '. His arsenal of 'vocabs' (as we like to call it) would send Webster running for cover. He was known to say a lot and I honestly did my best to listen, I never heard anything. Good thing he is now in Edo state. He shall continue to bless them with his intimidating knowledge. 
           Finally, I bring you to our last stop ' the warring governors ' And some non-constitutional body known as ' NGF'. It was a sixteen to nineteen case. I am told by a very reliable source that the nineteen refused to accept sixteen and well it turned our ' breath of fresh air ' into a whirlwind of oppression, even patience was lost, and some Nobel laureate was equally insulted. That is the power of power . It can make patient domestic appendages revolt.
          In the end, how well do you know your politicians ? If you got all right, you have paid as much attention as I have to the state of our nation. If you got all wrong, don't feel bad - you have obviously not been in Nigeria.
Please note: this is all a work of the writers overactive observation. If you put name ' na you sabi ' .

The black man's price.

    You cannot speak of Africa and ignore the ' transatlantic slave trade '. Often, it is where the story begins. White people, who explored their way into our land and bound away our people to their sugarcane plantations. That is the stereotype tale. We conveniently ignore that Africans sold Africans for a few rusty muskets and mirrors. We focus on the white man's cruelty but we ignore our greed. A people, who had diamonds, gold and oil but were willing to sell their brothers for next to nothing , for the appeal of the unfamiliar.
         We conquered the slave trade, but we did not conquer slavery. We are now slaves in our own nation. Slaves to bad leadership and corrupt practices. We are free from the white man's whip but we remain under the heel of oppression, Why?  Because someone somewhere is still selling us out.
         When, you stand for something you don't believe in because of all you intend to gain.
            When you sell your voice, your vote. When you are an instrument of political distraction. From as minor as stuffing ballot boxes to as major as eliminating the opposition.
           When you gloss up the story. When one hundred and fifty die and you make it ten. When you tell a story that is true but incomplete.
          When as a student representative, all you do is dine with politicians in a bid to further your ambitions. At the expense of the people you represent. So When Hades boils over, your hands are tied in loyalty to your ambition. You cannot bite the fingers that fed you. You ignore your people.
          'It is a little thing' . Same thing, they might have thought at the time they gave  off their people to a faith unknown. Same thing we think now . ' you are not directly hurting anybody ' I agree but ' you are indirectly hurting everybody '. You are selling us at the slave market for ' the black man's price.
         

The great divide.

     Any Abuja resident would agree with me that we have ' yahooza ' and we have chicken suya . Same as residents of Jos in plateau state will agree that we have ' netcafe ' and we have icecream. That little difference proves my favorite point ' it is not so much what you do but how you do it '. That's what creates ' the great divide'.
         In my last post ,I stated clearly that we have a Money problem. We all want to be rich and we all can be rich. We simply must realize that the paths to the stream of wealth are many. We need not crowd one way. To find your way, you must explore. Exploring is trying to find what you love  and not doing things for how much you can earn. It is finding your Midas touch.
     Dishonesty, immorality. Easy Money fast. I have heard stories of people who have earned this way and I am certain, I have never heard one that ended Well. There is a lot more to worth than Money. As much as we want a good net worth, we should have greater self worth. You cannot cheat divinity and expect it to bless you.
       We are told in life change is the only certainty, the times change but the basic principles of survival and divinity do not. As much as anyone can do anything, not everyone can do anything exceptionally. Be the exception, dare to stand out .