The Synagogue disaster and National bedlam.

I distrust anything that is not a bird that flies. Be it airplanes, pigs, elephants or witches. Flying is such a daunting affair that it is not all things with wings that achieve it, so imagine the surprise of Turkeys and Ostriches all over the world when wingless pigs began to fly earlier in the week. I saw pigs fly over my home when I read the statement after the collapse of a part of the synagogue church building (that sadly claimed the lives of tens of people). I quote "our CCTV camera caught footage of a plane flying round the perimeter, I was the prime target" The overseer said. I want to thank the gods of aerodynamics and CCTV that it is possible to tell that it is an airplane. It isn't hard to imagine the spiritual uprising it would have caused if it were to be a un-identifiable flying object (U.F.O).We will forgive the using of the laws of engineering to test miracles by attempting to build a five storey building on a two storey building foundation. After all ants carry bread crumbs fifty times their weight and neither has any collapsed nor passed out. Ever! Do not forget, Church service holds on Sunday as usual.

I met Asari Dokubo for the first time last week. His beards and chubby cheeks, fingers strangling the microphone in mid sentence in a picture that came after the caption "no girls are missing" in an interview with an unnamed national daily. This was my first impression of the man. It was not a good one. I imagined the wiggle of his full face of hair as he asserted "what international society? Tell me. The same that claim Iraq had weapons of mass destruction (WMD) but couldn't find any? Why haven’t they found the girls?". I understand he may not have heard the saying "the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence". Four months later with enough proof that the abducted girls are really missing, we still hear doubts from the corridors of Dokubo’s mind (proofless doubt, I might add). Ignorance is not a pepper soup affair.

 'The gift that keeps giving' is how I have chosen to summarize the 'Jonathanian' administration. Has kpomo ever really hurt anyone?  Unlike beer, vodka and almighty Alomo that have left some wives toothless and presidents in questionable medical maladies. I beg to suggest that the people Baba listens to please whisper to him (over a few drinks) that if he needs to pass a diversion bill to keep us busy and take our attention from pressing national drama, he could ban alcoholic beverages or better still codeine. After all not everyone drinks, but every household knows the joy that comes with kpomo swimming in the little lake of our soups and stews. It will be embarrassing for all parties involved if we have to advocate for kpomo rights and if need be, we will.
Signed; mama Bashiru, suliat and Bose. Kpomo sellers since 1960(when some people had no shoes)